You speak Chinese??

I do not but I did just get my order of a Chinese Herb that my Naturopathic Dr. told me to try.

These herbs are called Fu Ke Zhong Zi Wan and in English it means "Women's Seed Planting Pills".

I am willing to try anything in order to get a BFP(big fat positive) and since he told me to try these back in June and I haven't, I thought it was time.

I was SO anxious to get them as I just ended menstruation for the month and I received them in the mail today! YAY....just in time to prepare for ovulation!

I have to take 8 pills, 3 times a day...that's 24 pills. WOWZA'S!!! They are very small, black pills but they stink! Oh, the things you do for a precious child!

I hope they work and I can report back to those trying to give these a try.

Here's a picture for your pleasure. The package is pretty much all in Chinese with a lick of English!

I love Mr. A

Most of you know that we've been TTC (trying to conceive). We started in October '09, which is when we threw all forms of birth control out the window. October and November we though "just let see what happens" and when it didn't happen, I started charting.

We are now going into month 10 of actively TTC. It's now taking a big toll on my emotions.

When we started, I NEVER thought in a million years that it would take us this "long" to get pregnant. I quote "long" because according to some, it's really not long at all. I know that some people have gone years and years TTC, which yes, that is LONG but to me, 10 months is a long time to want and try so hard for something.

My Mom got pregnant right away with both me and my brother so I just assumed I would too.

I've been to the Naturopathic Dr. and had blood work and everything came back fine except my Iron and Vitamin D. I'm not on both supplements.

Mr. A got his semen analysis (SA) and blood work done last week and everything came back normal. YAY but now I'm thinking something must be wrong with me.

I've been taking Prenatal Vitamins along with Omega 3's with DHA for over a year now. I'm taking my Iron and Vitamin D daily also and I just ordered a Chinese Herb that my Naturopatchi Dr. told me to try. It's called Fu Ke Zhong Zi Wan aka Women's Seed Planting Pill in English. I will try anything at this point.

I have finally made an appointment with a new Midwife to get my annual done in 2 weeks and to talk about possible testing. I'm wondering if maybe my fallopian tubes are blocked. I know that I'm ovulating from Charting so it can't be that, I don't think.

So, last night I completely lost my cool. I broke down and cried my little heart out for a while. Mr. A just hugged me and let me cry. He told me how much he loved me and that we will have a baby soon and not to stress myself out. (Way easier said that done)

It felt really good to let it out. It's the first time I've cried about it and I'm sure won't be the last.

We have a wedding in July in Washington (my sister-in-laws) so if we aren't pregnant by the end of September, we're going to have to put it on hold for 2-3 months to ensure I'm not due at her wedding....that wouldn't be good. I'm sad if we'll have to do that as if it hasn't happened by then, I'm not going to want to put it on hold for 2 months but we don't really have a choice. We can't miss her wedding............

I pray to the Lord to give me the strength to continue on and the patience I need to get through this.
I pray to the Lord that He will give us a healthy, beautiful child when he finds us ready (which I hope is very soon lol).

A little about me, Mrs. A

Since I have some new followers, I thought I would tell you a little bit about me. I don't know if I ever fully introduced myself.

• I am in my twenties but getting pretty close to 30. BLAH
• I am originally from Upstate NY, where I lived for the first 27.5 years of my life.
• I now live in the greater Phoenix, AZ area and love it.
• I miss my family life crazy (they all live in NY still)
• I married a great man
• My sexy hubby is from Northern California
• We met in NY through a mutual friend
• We had a long distance relationship for the first 4 months
• We got engaged after only 6.5 months together
• We got married 2 years to the day that we started "dating"
• We are in the process of buying a home
• I can't wait to decorate my own home
• We have an awesome little puppy named Dexter
• I come from a divorced family
• I have a brother with severe MR
• Nobody truly understands the hardships you go through with a sibling who has MR
• My Mom is my best friend
• My relationship with my Dad has been rocky though it is better than it was and it is getting better by the day
• I miss my Grandmother like crazy
• The only thing in life that I want is to be a Mother
• I played collegiate soccer and had a blast
• I had back surgery at the age of 20
• I graduated college in 4 years
• I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I "grew up"
• I love photography and hope to be photographer someday
• I want to become a better blogger
• I love chocolate
• When I was 13, I won and contest and received a phone call from Jonathon Taylor Thomas who was my teenage crush
• I eat ridiculous amounts of chicken
• I am still learning things about myself
• I never knew getting pregnant could be this difficult and heartbreaking

This is me in a nutshell. I'm sure I could go on and on. If you'd like to know more, please ask. I'm pretty much an open book (not completely though).

Good Riddens April

I'm so glad I only see you once a year because you really pissed me off this year!

A little tid bit about Mrs. A (that's me-wink wink).....I used to cry a lot. And when I say used to, I mean, before I met my husband. I don't know why I would cry a lot, I always thought I was just a very emotional person. When I look back, I don't think that's the reason, I think I was just unhappy or uncertain about my life at that time.

When I met my husband, everything seemed so amazing that I had no reason to cry and well, I haven't cried much since meeting him. The reasons I've cried since meeting him include: *we were doing a long distance relationship for the first 4 months of our relationship so I missed him *when he almost didn't move to NY *when I watch movies or tv shows, I cry over the silliest stuff ....so, these are the only reasons I can think of.

Well, Wednesday, April 28th, I cried....and it wasn't for any of the reasons I listed above.

We have been house hunting since Mid January. To be completely honest, I thought it was going to be so fun, (I watch House Hunters....I know, stuff on TV is not true reality) exciting, etc. All the joys a new home can bring just made me believe that we would find one fast. And how incredible the housing market is for homebuyers right now also gave me false hope. We wanted the Tax Credit....who wouldn't? A "free" $8000 for buying a home...CHA-CHING! Yeah...it ends TODAY and well, we do not have a signed contract.

To make along story short....we have an offer on a Short Sale and have since Feb. 9th. We've been looking since but still holding out hope for that house. I love it! We found one in Paradise Valley that we loved on Tuesday night. It was an older home, needed some work but nothing major that would break the bank or drives us to go batshit crazy. We put the offer in 7am Wednesday morning....by 11am, we found out that they had an accepted offer from Tuesday night and they never updated the information online so we didn't know.........

I cried....and cried.....and cried a little more. lol

I told myself not to get emotionally attached to this house as a good chance of a higher bidder or cash offer were likely. I couldn't help it... the tears...they just started flowing and wouldn't stop for a good 15 minutes.

Not only was it the house but I also started my period. This concludes 5 active months of TTC with no luck and add 2 months of "just seeing what happens." So, a total of 7 months with no BFP (Big Fat Positive).

Needless to say, I'm SO happy to kick April out and start fresh in May! We will plan to go see Dr's to get us tested in hopes of finding us both fertile and ok with the timing part being the issue.

Surprisingly, I'm still very optimistic. Does that surprise you? Because it surprises me....I don't know why I am. I pray every night for the strength to get through this hard time and for the Lord to provide us with a healthy child when He knows we are ready. I only wish I knew when that time was going to happen.

God, give us grace to accept with serenitythe things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the thingswhich should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguishthe one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.