Our travels....

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Thank You Etiquette

How is it possible that people do not know the proper way to thank someone?

I am married therefore, I’ve had a bridal shower and a wedding; both things that require thank you cards and I sent them FOR BOTH!!! And I did them very quickly too so people didn't think I was ignoring the fact that they gave me gifts and/or money.

Now, it may seem like a foreign concept to some but to me, it’s like blinking. When someone gives you something, you don’t just ignore them, you say “THANK YOU!”

So, why do people go past the way side and ignore writing and sending Thank You cards when they have their bridal shower and wedding reception?

I mean, I find it VERY rude and offensive when I take the time out of my day to attend a shower, especially if it’s for someone that I’m not really that close to. I don’t just buy a gift and say ok, there you go. I really try to make the gift I give special. Whether it may be something personalized just for them or going beyond the typical bridal shower gifts, I expect a thank you card for it. I am NOT required to attend your shower OR even buy you a gift but it is common COURTESY just like thank you cards are.

If after the shower, I don’t get a thank you card, then I will intentionally give less as their wedding gift because if you can’t thank me for the shower gift, why do you deserve my money that I’m sure I won’t get thanked for either?

Wow…..who knew that writing this would fire me up again? *deep breaths*

Ok, let’s move past weddings and talk about birthdays. I do not have children (yet) but I kind of think the same thing about their parties but not quite as much as weddings. I know most of the time people don't send them after a kids party but I think it's cute. I also just love getting stuff in the mail that's NOT a bill. :-)

I love cute and different things so I think a great idea for children thank you cards is to ask them what they want to thank the person for and write it word for word. That way they are a part of the process and it’s actually coming from the child who received the gift.

Am I being old fashioned? Have thank you cards been put on the back burner? Do people think they do not have to thank others for giving them what is sometimes a couple hundred dollars, if not more?

What are your thoughts? Have you come across this issue in your travels? Have you been to an event where you’ve given something but were never thanked for it?

I have been to a couple weddings where I have not received a Thank You card and it makes me want to call the person out. I bet they would feel like a complete jacka** if I did that.

This picture below is not my thank you cards. I will have to scan one from my wedding. They were photo thank you's. I loved them! :-)


  1. Regarding the kids parties...I think if you make a point to say "thank you" or have your child say thank you, it's ok not send them. I'd rather here it in person then get a card in the mail that will just be thrown in the garbage.

  2. I completely agree with you, luckily I've never been in a situation where I did not receive a thank you note though. That would really irk me. We were a little slow mailing ours wedding thank you's out though (like 2 months ... eeek!)

  3. I agree- I hate getting a Facebook or email thankyou for a wedding gift... when it's something informal, I dont mind the electronic thankyou, but when it's formal, heck ya.

    We were slow in getting our thankyou's out- we had to wait until we got our photo's and CD back, then print them out. I think we were like 2 months out as well? But I hear within 3 months is "acceptable".

  4. Seriously!!! The last 2 weddings I attended - NO thank you card. And we gave pretty good gifts, and traveled to the weddings.

    I was always taught to write thank you's for birthday gifts, so I still do. However, we went as far in my family to write thank you's for Christmas (like, even to my sister!) - which I now find a little ridiculous if you also gave the other person a gift, and you both said thank you in person.

  5. I'm BIG on thank you notes but I have to admit that I didn't send them for Emster's bday--oops! It was such a busy time, but I did thank each of the peeps that came...

  6. I think thanks you's are important, especially for weddings or showers. I usually try to do birthday thank you's as well, but never did them for the boys this year (as you can attest to). lol Sorry about that! I just always have to hand make them or do them in photoshop and this year was too crazy with all the other things I was making for other people. I don't get offended when I don't get a thank you, but I do think it's good for people to send them out. P.S. I think 2 months is good. We were longer than that. :( I heard that within the first year is fine because people still send gifts for that first year. I know we got cards like 9 months later. lol