I'm so glad I only see you once a year because you really pissed me off this year!
A little tid bit about Mrs. A (that's me-wink wink).....I used to cry a lot. And when I say used to, I mean, before I met my husband. I don't know why I would cry a lot, I always thought I was just a very emotional person. When I look back, I don't think that's the reason, I think I was just unhappy or uncertain about my life at that time.
When I met my husband, everything seemed so amazing that I had no reason to cry and well, I haven't cried much since meeting him. The reasons I've cried since meeting him include: *we were doing a long distance relationship for the first 4 months of our relationship so I missed him *when he almost didn't move to NY *when I watch movies or tv shows, I cry over the silliest stuff ....so, these are the only reasons I can think of.
Well, Wednesday, April 28th, I cried....and it wasn't for any of the reasons I listed above.
We have been house hunting since Mid January. To be completely honest, I thought it was going to be so fun, (I watch House Hunters....I know, stuff on TV is not true reality) exciting, etc. All the joys a new home can bring just made me believe that we would find one fast. And how incredible the housing market is for homebuyers right now also gave me false hope. We wanted the Tax Credit....who wouldn't? A "free" $8000 for buying a home...CHA-CHING! Yeah...it ends TODAY and well, we do not have a signed contract.
To make along story short....we have an offer on a Short Sale and have since Feb. 9th. We've been looking since but still holding out hope for that house. I love it! We found one in Paradise Valley that we loved on Tuesday night. It was an older home, needed some work but nothing major that would break the bank or drives us to go batshit crazy. We put the offer in 7am Wednesday morning....by 11am, we found out that they had an accepted offer from Tuesday night and they never updated the information online so we didn't know.........
I cried....and cried.....and cried a little more. lol
I told myself not to get emotionally attached to this house as a good chance of a higher bidder or cash offer were likely. I couldn't help it... the tears...they just started flowing and wouldn't stop for a good 15 minutes.
Not only was it the house but I also started my period. This concludes 5 active months of TTC with no luck and add 2 months of "just seeing what happens." So, a total of 7 months with no BFP (Big Fat Positive).
Needless to say, I'm SO happy to kick April out and start fresh in May! We will plan to go see Dr's to get us tested in hopes of finding us both fertile and ok with the timing part being the issue.
Surprisingly, I'm still very optimistic. Does that surprise you? Because it surprises me....I don't know why I am. I pray every night for the strength to get through this hard time and for the Lord to provide us with a healthy child when He knows we are ready. I only wish I knew when that time was going to happen.
God, give us grace to accept with serenitythe things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the thingswhich should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguishthe one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
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